On May 18, 2013 my best friend and heterolifemate, Grace, got married!

The wedding was in Brooklyn, the weather was beautiful, the dress was handmade by the bride, and I was A Witness.

Grace asked me to be uh witness three weeks prior, after the rehearsal of my own wedding in Asheville. Since she and Aaron weren’t having any attendants, I was honored to be given a role on her special day.

Here’s what I know uh witness is responsible for at a wedding:

1. Watch two people get married.
2. Sign a marriage license saying you watched said people get married.

I’m pretty sure that’s all my witnesses had to do, and that’s what I was prepared for.

So when Grace asked me to attend her rehearsal the night before her wedding, I figured “okay, couldn’t hurt.”

She mentioned I would probably hold her bouquet and that in other Episcopal weddings she had attended, the witnesses signed the marriage certificate at the alter, during the ceremony.

That shoulda been my first clue that uh witness and A Witness are not the same thing.

So here’s what A Witness does in an Episcopal wedding:

1. Walk down the isle to the bridal processional. (So when that special ‘bride music’ comes on, everyone stands up, turns around, and see’s… A Witness).
2. Stand next to the bride throughout The Exhortation and the giving of the bride to her groom by her father.
3. Hold the bride’s bouquet.
4. Stand next to her throughout The Declaration of Consent, and The Presentation.
5. Sit next to the bride at a chair in front of the first pew (you know, the special pew reserved for family) during the Ministry of the Word, The First Reading, the Second Reading, the Gospel Reading, and the Sermon.
6. Follow the Priest, Bride, and Groom to the alter while a choir sings and organist plays beautiful church music.
7. Stand beside the bride during The Marriage Vows, The Blessing and Exchange of Rings.
8. If you’re the male Witness, this is where you hand over the rings to the Priest and then hold the Bible for him while he reads and blesses the couple.
9. Sign the church register and marriage license right there, on the alter, right after the vows.
10. Be by the bride’s side during the Pronouncement, the Prayers, and the Blessing of the Marriage.
11. Straighten the bride’s dress and veil, hand her back her bouquet.
12. Curtsy to the groom. (For realz).
13. Leave the alter after the bride and groom on the arm of the other Witness, to the bridal recessional.

That list is obviously 11 steps longer than me, the other Witness, the bride, or the groom thought it would be.

To say we ALL got a shock at the rehearsal would be an understatement.

But honestly, I am so incredibly glad I was A Witness and not just uh witness.

I already considered it an honor to put my name on the piece of paper that officially binds Aaron and Grace to one another for life, but to play such an important role in their actual wedding ceremony, in a beautiful church, throughout their fantastically traditional vows… it was easily the most important day of my life after my own wedding day.

Additional duties of A Witness, included:

• Queuing up the photog to get shots of the dress, veil, jewelry, bouquet, Groom and Best Witness before the ceremony.
• Helping Grace’s mother dress from head to toe.
• Working with the wedding planner to get everyone to the church on time
• Giving THE one and only toast at the reception (Shaking like a leaf the whole time optional. I threw it in for free).

Things I am so, so thankful for:

• I did NOT wear the same dress I wore to my own rehearsal party and instead ended up in a last minute, surprisingly perfect dress appropriate for a Witness of Honor in a daytime wedding.
• I brought my Grandmother’s cream pearls that matched Grace’s dress perfectly and which was her ‘something borrowed.’
• I conveniently had comfortable, sapphire satin shoes from my own wedding to run around in all day. (Emphasis on “run.”)
• I gave Grace a fabulous Linea Pelle clutch as a gift for being my bridesmaid that happened to work as a perfect alternative to the bouquet I didn’t have.
• My own wedding was only three weeks prior, so I knew what had to get done and when.
• Aaron’s friend Jeremy is cool as hell and was an awesome Best Witness to work with.
• I got to play such an important role to my heterolifemate and her…. other heterolifemate(?)…err… new husband on one of the most special days of their lives.

The weekend held so many amazing moments and memories but these were my favorite, and how I witnessed my best friend’s Episcopal wedding.